needlebomb | inbox.

can't imagine it'll go over well if that happens.
religious zealots don't tend to react to validation with shows of grace.

three years.
sometimes it's hard to process that there are people here who have been around for that long. i mean, i'm lucky — i don't have much of a home to go back to — but a lot of people do, and they might never see it again.
i guess it doesn't matter. i don't know why i'm bringing that up when we're talking about the floods.
as far as natural disasters go, this could have been worse, right? optimistic approach.

You're not wrong.
Fortunately (?), the closest thing to religion that I've observed here is contained to a set of caves deep in the down.
Seems pretty contained.

[ briefly, stiles wonders how those people are holding up, if the flooding has made it down to them, maybe washed them out and forced them to come up to the surface, but - they also kind of really creep him out, so he stops wondering immediately.

instead, he focuses on... home. chews on the inside of his cheek for a minute, glances at derek across the room checking the seals on the floor-to-ceiling windows for any potential leakage if the water gets high enough. ]

I've been back home before.
Plenty of people go back home.
Just - sometimes they come back here again.

[ ... ]

Technically I've gone home twice
But I don't remember anything about the second time.
Kind of feels like it wasn't me.

we have caves here?
dude, we should stash some supplies down there. strong, natural shelter is extremely hard to come by. could be a good place to run away to if shit ever hits the fan.
except, uh... wait. religion?
wait.
do people live in the caves?

seems like a blessing, to be able to forget some of this place.
christ knows i'd give up my left hand to blank out some of the shit i've done.

[ killing. lying. actually — he shouldn't talk about this to stiles. ]

i'm glad you're here. for what it's worth.
i wouldn't have survived my first day without you.
we should drop some acid and listen to some new wave shit. after this flood clears up.

wait, your dad's a cop, right?
forget i said that.
don't do drugs.

Dude, no.
Don't go down into the caves.
Or if you do, stop at the springs.
The springs are fine, mostly.

But there's a group of Ex-Doms that live down there
Ex-Locals, or something.
They were opposed to the whole Dom/Sub system up here, so they all moved down into the cave and started their own community.
Only they live the exact same way, they just won't admit it.
They've got one leader down there, calls herself Domadora, which I assume you know, but if you don't, means 'tamer' in Spanish, and they all submit to her. She has everything, riches, etc., and they dress in the plainest clothes and live off of what they can find in the caves.
She's basically the Dom to like... I don't know, dozens and dozens of subs without claiming the terms.
They claim they have no rules, and that they're kind of opposed to sex? I think
But that's all they want whenever one of us goes down there.
Apparently they think that fucking someone else enough times will absolve them of their sins, whatever that means.

[ but that's enough about mysterious cave people who came out of nowhere.

stiles almost says something about how not remembering things makes him uncomfortable and anxious, so it's not as much of a blessing for him as it might be for marcus, but - that would take a lot of explaining and revisiting personal traumas that he doesn't really want to touch on right now, so he just glosses over it entirely. ]

You'd have made it.
All I did was give you a shirt.

But uh
Yeah, hahaha.
We can do that, I guess.
I mean, you can do the acid, I'll listen to the "new wave shit" and I promise not to snitch to my dad.
I'm too anxious and ADHD to do anything that alters the brain more than what Adderall already does for me.

right. got it.
go down past the springs, find a new home among the sub-terranian cultists. sub-sub-terranian? either way, those are your orders and i will follow them to the letter.
you know, there's a lot to be said about how subcultures and counter-cultures born from protest end up just following the same cycle of abuse under a fresh coat of paint.
seems like a bizarre choice of occurrences to make into a universal truth across, like, literally an entire alternate dimension, or whatever, but.
i guess that's human nature.
are we in an alternate dimension? still not clear on that.
it doesn't matter, i guess.
cave people.

you did more than that. you stuck by me. made me feel better.
meant a lot. made me respect you. admire you.
don't sell yourself short.
well, maybe sell yourself short a little, if only for being straightedge.
you deserve to loosen up. get some drinks into you. weed, at least.
i mean, i won't push it, but i'm good for anything you might be willing to try should you ever change your mind.
(again, don't tell your dad).

Don't make me come drag your ass out of an orgy once you've realized you're in too deep.
I'll do it, but you'll owe me so bad.
So bad. I'll remind you every time you need a favor
"Remember that one time I told you not to go mess with the cave people and you did it anyway and I had to come get you like a parent coming to collect their drunk child who meant to call a taxi but accidentally called their dad? I remember."

[ man. how lame is he gonna sound if he tells marcus he doesn't really drink, either? does he even really care what marcus thinks? ... well, yeah, he does, but not enough to make him feel pressured about what he does and doesn't do. ]

I'm loose.

[ wait. ]

Wait.
I mean, like. I'm relaxed.
Besides, someone's gotta stay clearheaded just in case you end up shirtless in a weird sex-museum tripping out of your mind again.

i'm not going to go hound the cave people. don't worry.
i mean, not unless i lose whatever i have left of my senses and decide that, actually, joining a cult and having an orgy sounds like an amazing use of my time.
which i will never do. there are actually a pretty hefty number of orgy cults back home. one i know of by name, at least.
never been the biggest fan.
but then again, it could be a fucking sick cave. couldn't deny the privilege of joining that tamer woman if she gave me my own stalactite.

oh, i thought you were talking about your asshole.

[ just had to really make it clear that no amount of backtracking will help stiles here. ]

i was gonna say.
that boyfriend of yours must be pretty hung.
or you get around.
had no idea you were that kind of guy. learn something new every day.
all the more power to you, honestly. guess you were talking about those cave orgies because of first hand experience.

and yeah.
that's fair.
it's cool.
i don't care that you don't partake, dude.
more for me.

People lose their sense here all the time.
Genuinely wouldn't be surprised if you called me up while knee deep in the springs.

[ and balls deep somewhere else. ]

No offense.

[ there's a significantly long pause here while stiles deliberates on whether he just wants to lean into this - dumb butthole joke, or breeze right past it. he looks at derek over the top of his phone, absently biting at his thumb nail, watches him crouch to check out the bottom seal on a window, admires the way his ass fills out his pants for a few seconds. hmm. ]

It's the first one.
Dude's packing like you wouldn't believe.

[ literally wouldn't believe it, even if stiles told him why, probably. "haha, he's thick as fuck and sometimes the base of it swells up like a balloon. talk about loose. but that's a werewolf, for you." yeah, no.

but that's really all he's going to say about his boyfriend's dick. he tries to keep the details of his sex life private, when he can help it. ]

What do you normally drink?
I'm not really that into the hard stuff, but
You know, maybe I'd have a beer.

[ there's a delay as marcus weighs up how he wants to answer. he doesn't think he has any right to take some kind of moral highground over stiles, given that he, like, stabbed him to death and still hasn't told him, but. his pride, man. ]

not really sure how to take that. i guess i deserve it? i haven't exactly shown myself to you in the best light. high and in a museum, etcetera.
but i'm not going to do anything stupid. not if i can help it.
and if i do fuck up, i'm not going to put you in danger by asking for your help. i'll just get my dick turned to stone or whatever it is that happens at cave orgies.
but no offense taken.

i think you're just saying that to gas your boyfriend up.
nobody can say "my boyfriend has a small dick" to someone who doesn't even know him and sleep easily at night.
don't worry. his secret is safe with me.

anyway, uh... drinks... i mean, anything i can get my hands on? turpentine, once.
i am okay with splitting a beer with you.
or an apple juice. if that's more your speed.
strawberry milk.
that's not an insult, by the way. i know it sounds like one because i have this whole arrogant, judgmental vibe about me.
but i can stomach strawberry milk.

I wasn't trying to be a dick or anything
What I meant is that you're still relatively new
And sometimes it's hard to tell when something's gonna screw you over until you've already heeded the siren's call so to speak.
That being said - you can ask for my help.
There's not much that has happened here that's any more dangerous that shit I've dealt with at home, so.

[ you know, except for the time he got murdered in cold blood and still doesn't know who did it, or the details surrounding how or when it happened - but marcus doesn't need to know that. it would damage stiles' credibility as a helpful person capable of laughing in the face of danger, if he did. ]

I think you're just saying that because you want to see his dick just to see if it's true.
Not gonna happen, buddy.
It was a good try, though. Commendable manipulation attempt.

[ jokes. either way, stiles isn't gonna sit here and defend derek's super beefy megacock, because at the end of the day, what stiles knows is what's important. and marcus has no idea who derek is anyway as far as stiles knows, so who really cares. ]

Turpentine?
Isn't that toxic? Dude. Why?
Also, I'm more of a chocolate milk guy, but if strawberry is your poison, then strawberry it is.
(But for the record, I'm ok with splitting a beer too. )

okay.
fair.
sorry for being defensive.
have you done that? "heeded the siren's call".
you don't strike me as someone who has made a lot of mistakes. least of all here. you always act like you have your head screwed on right.
what's the, uh
worst thing you've done here?

and, wow. no.
i've seen enough dick in my comparably short time here to be done with them for life.
still don't see the appeal, honestly.
and — i mean —
doubt it means much to you, seeing as i doubt this means much to anyone here, but i'm not really into the whole sleeping-with-someone-else's-partner thing.
keep that giant dick to yourself.

because it was there?
fuck, maybe you were right to talk about that siren's call shit.
i had no right to my hurt pride.

[ stiles takes a minute to think, absently watching as windex sniffs at the edges of the windows after derek's messed around with them, curious as to what he's doing. for the most part, stiles thinks he's done a pretty good job at resisting when shit gets weird around here. some things, of course, have been entirely unavoidable - like going to bed in his own home, in his own bed, and waking up somewhere entirely different, along with the rest of the LIERs population, for example - but he learned quickly to be wary of a lot of things in the city. to stay home when things start to hit the fan, as they always inevitably do. ]

I don't know.
Someone I know ate something that forced them to tell the truth, and I knew it, and I took the opportunity to ask them questions I didn't think they'd answer if they weren't under the influence of whatever the food was contaminated with.

[ there was... also that time in a shared dreamstate or whatever where something very similar to the nogitsune if not the nogitsune itself took over his body (again, god), and may have been a little rougher with someone stiles was very suspicious of at the time, but - that's a whole complicated mess, and not something stiles wants to explain. not when marcus thinks he's a relatively normal guy.

what else. ]

I also told someone about someone else's secret identity once after I told the first someone that I wouldn't tell anyone else?
But that was kind of - not related to the city at all.
That's about it, I think.
You learn pretty quickly not to trust a lot of things right off the bat here.

[ ... ]

That, uh
That does mean something to me actually.

[ it means a whole fucking lot. ]

Like, I get what this place is, what it requires from us, etc.
I get that - things are gonna happen, sometimes not by choice, but.
I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to say other than that I appreciate that.

How'd you even survive that, man?

[ ah. if marcus thought he felt guilty before stiles went out of his way to confirm that he's a pretty good person, well... he was wrong. there's a pit of something heavy and sickly in his stomach, but he doesn't let himself dwell or waste time in replying. just keeps the conversation going. all he can do. ]

none of those things seem comparable to reluctant orgies with cavedwellers. or even comparable to half the things i saw back home, frankly.
not that i'm trying to downplay the things you've done. guilt is a funny thing. some people feel miserable over the smallest discretions, where as some of us can ruin another person's life without committing a second thought to it.
i'm sure you had your reasons for doing what you did.
do you think you're at risk of — i don't know — what you're warning me away from?
some inevitable slip into the city's hands that leaves me in need of rescuing.

you're welcome.
i am still largely heterosexual, so please factor that in before you appreciate me too much.
but i get what you're saying.
it's something i think about a lot. that kind of... i don't know.
sharing.
i don't know.
let's stop talking about this.

maybe i didn't.
wouldn't be surprised if this was some kind of weird, sexy purgatory.

[ there's a part of stiles that wants to confess - he's not a great person, not that marcus has even said as much, but just because he hasn't done very many things here worthy of guilt doesn't mean he's innocent. there are things he's done back home that will follow him everywhere, guilt he'll never be able to shake off no matter how much he tries, no matter how many people tell him he didn't do anything wrong. donovan was a while ago, maybe his worse offense because he was entirely in control unlike when he was possessed by a trickster spirit, but he'll bare that scar forever, physically and otherwise. sometimes he can still feel the searing, phantom heat of fresh blood on his hands.

there's another part of him, though, that's selfish. he wants marcus to like him, he likes having marcus as a friend, and stiles figures the less he knows, the less likely he is to take off. funny, how keeping secrets about the things that make him feel guilty just make him feel... guilty.

what marcus doesn't know won't hurt him (and will inevitably blow up in stiles' face later). ]

I don't think I'm exempt from it.
Some things happen here that people have no control over.
Sometimes we all wake up in an entirely different place with no warning.
Sometimes we're locked in somewhere with no way out except to fuck, or to try and wait it out and hope they're not pumping aphro through the air vents.
I've gotten pretty good at dodging the obvious set-ups
Avoiding festivals and parties, or at the very least, passing on the food and drink unless I plan to dine and dash back home with my boyfriend before anything really takes effect
But otherwise, none of us are really as powerful as we expect ourselves to be.
This place could take anyone and everyone down in a second if it really wanted to.

[ ... ]

Anyway.
I've already had the whole afterlife discussion.
Pretty sure that's not it.
Not enough dead people or people who were near death before they showed up to make it a solid hypothesis.
Besides - how long before you got dragged here was the turpentine incident?

right. that makes sense.
i don't think that's something i've dealt with. getting locked in somewhere like that.
unless you count the city as a whole. hard not to feel like a rat trapped in a amze here. might just be a me problem, though. been a pretty persistent feeling in my life.
so, uh.
hmm.
should we set up some ground rules in case we get stuck in a room together?
like, i probably won't want to eat your ass, for instance.

at least a few months.
but i was also living on the streets nearly freezing to death every night.
those last few months of my life back home could have been a hallucination, too. or part of the afterlife. or something.
i don't actually believe this, for the record.
i'm just saying shit.
alternate dimension. fuck for science. it's pretty straightforward.
as much as these things can be.

The city counts.
But it's more like existing in a big box and then suddenly finding yourself in a smaller one with just enough room for a blinking, neon 'fuck or die' sign.
Except I don't think anyone's died yet for refusing to have sex.
City usually steps in before anyone can go too long without it.

[ anyway. boundaries, i guess. ]

Uh. Right.
Because you're straight.

[ that's not stiles being doubtful, this is just stiles trying to navigate what is definitely about to be an awkward conversation. this is why he's always avoided fucking his friends here. it's just - less complicated, and less uncomfortable in the long run, among other, more... monogamous reasons. ]

No but uh
Yeah. I mean - 'hey, let's not fuck' sounds like a pretty good ground rule.

[ pause. paaaaaaause. ]

That being said
Alright, I'm just gonna say it because there's no not weird way to say it so just shut up and deal with it but
Mutual masturbation seems to be the bare minimum for what counts as sex as far as
Unlocking doors or meeting quota goes, without ever having to touch someone else.
So.

[ so. name your rules, buddy. ]

Alternate dimensions are straightforward for you.
That's interesting.

i'm sure if someone died after failing to follow the rules, the city would cover it up.
i don't think lies uses fear as a motivator. force, but not fear.
like you said. the city could ruin us, if it ever wanted to. but it hasn't done that.
so.
the fear of some unknown, unknowable punishment is probably easier to work with than the genuine, real fear that you'll die if you don't do as you're told. psychological manipulation 101.
besides, i don't know about you, but i probably couldn't get hard with a gun to my head.

[ "because you're straight", stiles says, and marcus... can't... comment, because he's not, and he's extremely aware that he's not, but he's not about to fucking say as much. he's hinted. that's enough. the mutual masturbation thing doesn't really weird him out, and if anything, it's kind of a relief. he wouldn't have considered that an option if left to his own devices. ]

i guess i'm grateful you told me that?
i would have honestly tried to fuck someone if i didn't know. like, full penetrative sex the second i was locked in a room with them. would've thought that was the only way out.
i will absolutely jerk you off if it means saving your life, man.
consider that bloodpact forged.

[ he's not sure if those are rules, but... bro move established? shit, whatever. ]

i've read comics. i don't know what to tell you.
this is some very baseline marvel shit.
well, i doubt charles xavier would ever go to an alternate universe where he has to fuck his teaching staff, but.
i don't know, maybe he would.

Anyone tell you about Fort Harmony yet?

[ because lies definitely does motivate people with fear - or they used to, anyway. ]

I don't think a lot of people know, to be honest.
I mean there might even be something less involved than that that counts, but this is as much as I know, personally.
I think most people just go right for it, though.
Nothing wrong with it, I'm just... not that into having sex with strangers, or people I've only met like once or twice.

[ or... with anyone who's not his boyfriend, frankly, but sometimes shit happens and he's gotta do what he's gotta do. still, anonymous sex? not really his thing. and if it's gotta happen, the less involved for him, the better. ]

But uh. Good to know.
Hypothetical problem solved.
You do me, I do you
And we never talk about it.

[ anyway. comics?? marcus, you beautiful boy. ]

Does Erik count as teaching staff?
Like - you haven't seen this yet, but in First Class, Xavier brings him to the institute to help him, but Erik also kind of ends up helping the other students, too.
Like, minimally, but I think it counts.
And those two definitely fuck. I don't care what anyone says, so.
Alternate dimensions maybe not even necessary.

i don't think so.
sounds slightly cult-ish. something about the word harmony. makes me think of church barbecues and too much gingham.

i get it. something about casual sex — it doesn't sit right with me.
it's cold. hollow. itchy. makes me feel like there are bugs in my skin, and not just because of the now defunct fear of catching something with whatever girl i end up with.
i guess i've started to handle it a little better since coming here. or... at the very least, i've acknowledged that despite my urge to come across as this cynical advocate for romance over physical connection, i'm still a shallow and horny and hypocritical piece of shit. so.
maybe it's not that my opinion has changed, it's just that i'm a scumbag willing to give up my morals and feelings of impersonal inadequacy in favor of getting my dick wet.
who can say.

i don't think erik counts as teaching staff.
even if he did, there is no way mainstream media would ever show two male leads fucking. i don't believe you.
then again... i guess a lot has changed since the eighties.
if you managed to bring that movie from home, we should watch it.
you know, if we don't get too distracted by all the mutual masturbation we'll end up having.

It was more of a camp than a cult.
Though I guess there were cultish elements.
Couple years ago LIEs did this whole raid. Kicked everyone's door in in the middle of the night, dragged us all out of bed and threw us into the backs of these vans, handcuffed and blindfolded.
They drove us around for what felt like hours, and then hauled us all out into this compound.
Separated us by contract status and then by alignment.
We got three meals a day at the same time every day, so if you missed it, tough shit, but
Subs had to kneel on the floor to eat, or they weren't allowed to eat at all, and they had to get their food from a Dom.

Anyway. That's all kind of normal.
After a while, when they realized the perks they were offering for contracted pairs wasn't enough to make people sign contracts, LIEs brought in some new faces.
Guards, from a neighboring city none of us knew about, and some of their people from there, too.
Doms and Subs, just like us.
They paraded them up onto this stage, some dickhead made a speech about obedience or... whatever, I can't really remember what it was about now
But as soon as he was done, the guards shot all those people, point blank, because they'd strayed from their 'roles'.
And you know what? They were so brainwashed that they were happy to die for it.
We had to spend another couple weeks there. Drugged us up, even though I think by that point nobody was really actively trying to act out.

So. I don't think they're above using real fear.

[ just, you know. speaking from experience.

anyway, stiles doesn't have a lot to say about marcus' morals, or... lack thereof, apparently. this city does shit to people. stiles can't really fault him for liking sex, and besides - monogamy isn't for everyone, so. whatever. ]

Brokeback Mountain, 200...4? 2005?
Movie about two cowboys who fuck each other.
I mean it's about more than that, but.
Mainstream media, two male leads.

Anyway. I think I've got it?
I'll have to check.
But there are other movies before that one that you should probably watch, just for the sake of context.
Gotta work you up to young Magneto

[ and this is probably one of the weirder things he's said to someone trying to lean into a joke, and he kind of hates it, but: ]

Can't have you coming too soon, otherwise you'll sleep through the rest.

[ two things run through marcus's head at the same time. the first, is that fort harmony sounds like something he would have seen at king's - the rigid time schedule is one thing, the strictness between feeding times, but marcus can picture lin lining kids up and killing them to make a point about the gravity of everything they were doing there. he doesn't know about finals — the school-wide series of live assassinations against other students — but if he did... well, maybe he would tell stiles about that.

but maybe he wouldn't, because the second thing that runs through his mind is the reminder that he fucking killed stiles, and if he talks about fort harmony, if he lets himself ask stiles how it felt to be there watching someone die, he'll — lose his fucking mind, so he can't. he just hopes his dismissal comes across as fear, rather than... anything else. guilt. ]

sorry. i wasn't thinking. i was wrong.
all tyrants rule with fear. we're nothing if not under the thumb of tyranny.

[ those dot dot dots show up a few times before marcus settles on a response worth saying. ]

you're not wrong, honestly. i'd be out like a light three seconds after i'd shot my load.
but, uh. a movie marathon sounds fun. not a euphemism, just to clarify. a platonic, non-sexual movie marathon sounds fun.
we're probably going to have to wait until the streets are a little more dry, but i'd like that.

[ if he even has the fucking right to spend time with stiles. marcus immediately wants to walk this back, change his mind. he doesn't. can't. can't be suspicious. can't give stiles any reason to think marcus is anything other than his friend. ]

[ if stiles gave it more thought, he might take the dismissal as something else other than fear - placation, maybe, or something else more incriminating, but. he's not doing a whole lot of deep thinking today, and he doesn't have any reason to suspect marcus of anything out of the ordinary, so. just like that, marcus gets away with it. ]

It's a date, then.
A platonic, non-sexual date.
What other kinds of stuff do you like?
There are at least 7 X-Men movies so that's already like, a full afternoon if you just wanted to knock those out
But we can also mix it up.
I can look through what I've got on my laptop and try to put a list together if you want.

i haven't seen a lot of movies. they weren't really a portable experience in the 80s, and i never had the money or the freedom to see what was out there.
the boy scouts came to the home once or twice. took us camping. showed us films. shit like that.
it was largely sterile pieces of propaganda. so. seven x-men movies have to be an improvement over those.

i like horror. i think.
i haven't seen much.
but i like special effects. practical prop pieces and transformative makeup.
it's impressive.
art always is.

Six of them are an improvement.
One of them kind of sucks, but you've gotta watch it just to say you have.

But uh.
Yeah, that's a good start.
Horror, good makeup, and good SFX.
Got it.
Anything you're not into as far as genre/subject goes?

why would you watch a movie if it sucks?

[ he's from the 80s, man. camp and terrible cinema hasn't come back into a vague, ironic sense of enjoyment yet. ]

no. i trust your judgment.
i mean, gun to my head, i don't want to watch romantic comedies. or coming of age, sixteen candles bullshit. blithe, vapid, overly produced displays of romance for the rich and the privileged.

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