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[needlebomb]

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un: jizzledim

[jizzledim]

i hope you like food that doesn't come out of a dumpster and booze that isn't made in a bathtub or a toilet
well, actually, i'm not really sure on the bathtub thing

[needlebomb]

can't say i've ever had the pleasure of trying it.
why? oh, man. wait.
please tell me you got a job.
i want to see what billy bennett looks like as part of the corporate machine. dressed head to toe in red and yellow, dipping frozen french fries in oil and serving them up to the masses by the trayful.
how short are your shorts? do you have to wear a little apron?

[jizzledim]

[ how short are his shorts? ]

you ever been to a hooters?

[ ... ]

fuck off, i didn't get a job
sorry to kill your little hotpants fantasy
but i did one better

i got a sugar daddy
well, a dom but it's the same shit

[needlebomb]

[ there's one glorious, fantastic, beautiful second where marcus believes billy's telling him the truth, but. his little hotpants fantasy died before it even got a chance to shine. ]

no shit?
good for you, i guess.

[ so did marcus, but... well, he's a little shit, so he's not really rushing to bring that up. partially because he likes having an air of mystery about himself, and partially because he's, like, been extremely vocal about how he'd sooner die than sign a contract, and he's not in a rush to say he changed his values just for free weed and a place to sleep. ]

what's he like?

[jizzledim]

he's fucking weird, dude
not like shabnam weird or us weird
but he's like 80? looks like he's late 30s maybe mid 40s
has two swords, and they're like
super badass d&d fantasy shit

[ they're literally just regular swords, but listen. ]

he says he's a monster hunter
a "witcher" which i guess is the same thing
still not sure if i buy that yet, but
none of that matters, i guess
the important part is that i get access to pretty much everything
food, money, booze, bed
which means you do too

[ honestly, half the reason billy even agreed to sign with anyone was so he could try to milk whatever benefits for both him and marcus, even if that means having to sneak shit to him. fortunately, geralt doesn't give a single fuck about what billy does (so long as he doesn't touch his swords), and has already basically said that marcus can come around as much as he wants. fuck yeah. nevermind that billy actually likes geralt. ]

and i don't have to do weird shit for any of it
i don't have to do anything at all
and i happen to be a professional do-nothing...er
anyway. he's cool, i guess

[needlebomb]

you are such a fucking nerd.
an entire city of people you can hitch your wagon to, and you immediately seek out the princess bride-iest motherfucker you can find.
unbelievable.

[ marcus actually met geralt, briefly, back when he first arrived - they were going to fight, which marcus never actually followed through on, but hey, it sounds like he'll have the opportunity to still do that, if the rickety old dude's still interested and won't break a hip. he is absolutely going to overstay his welcome at billy's new place, so. seems inevitable.

and - well, billy said he doesn't have to "do weird shit" for it, but, you know, the question's gotta be asked. if marcus knew that saya had asked maria this same exact question about him back home, he probably wouldn't ask it, but, oops, here we go - ]

have you touched his dick?

[jizzledim]

takes a nerd to know a nerd, dude
don't try to sit here and tell me if some comic book motherfucker asked you if you'd be his baby boy that you wouldn't immediately jizz your shorts

[ eat shit, loser. ]

???
no i haven't touched his dick
he'd probably cut my hand off

[needlebomb]

most comic book motherfuckers would hate me.
all the critical analysis. the relentless complaining, the argumentative conversations.
jean grey would not want to ride me after i spent ten hours blaming dark phoenix for x-men's decline from inclusivity and empowerment into sexist jerk off fantasy bullshit.

[ just calls himself a loser if billy's already thinking it. ]

i didn't cut your hand off when you touched my dick.
i'm far more dangerous than an eighty year old.
probably less sociable, too.
what's the problem?

[jizzledim]

jean grey dated that cyclops dude and he was a total dickhead so i wouldn't write yourself off that quick

anyway, nerd
that's not even the same
you're my friend
which doesn't mean you're obligated to let me touch your dick or whatever, but i barely know this dude
also he has two giant-ass swords, if you've already forgotten
what are you gonna do, chew my hand off?
i just landed a room without water stains and an unlimited food supply
i'm not gonna risk that shit yet just because i want to touch his dick
do you want to eat real food or not

[needlebomb]

he also had big arms and a jawline he could cut bricks on.
trust me. girls like that don't stick around if you can't compensate for your terrible personality.

[ or guys, for that matter, he assumes. heterosexually. either way, as much as he hates to say it, marcus is no scott summers. ]

i do want to eat real food. i also want to get my best friend laid.
if you want to touch his dick, you should go for it. that's all i'm saying.
as far as i can tell, he's contractually obligated to take care of you for three months, right? so. i don't think you would be "risking" anything.
but.
whatever.
your loss. if you don't fuck him, i'm sure someone will.
maybe even me.

[ he says, again, heterosexually. ]

[jizzledim]

dude, have you seen your jawline

[ because it's nice as fuck. but anyway. ]

i don't think there's anything in our contract that says he has to feed or house me
he just keeps my ass out of jail for not playing house or whatever
and takes the heat if i piss the wrong people off
but by all means
fuck him if you wanna fuck him
don't let me get in your way, man

[needlebomb]

shut up

[ he doesn't want billy to gas him up. or give him permission to fuck an old man. he wants to gas billy up. he wants billy to fuck an old man. ]

irrational escalation to respond to "hey, i'm kind of attracted to you" with "i'll never feed or house you again"
but live your life. morrissey loves celibacy. turns out you're a bigger fan than i am
when can i come see the new digs?
and who have you been pissing off without me?

[jizzledim]

he's an old man
old people are always irrational and pissed off at those damned youths
also he might be a giant homophobe, who the hell knows
probably should have figured that one out before i signed all those papers but that ship's sailed
anyway
you can come over whenever
geralt said he doesn't give a shit who i have over or who comes around
i specifically asked before i agreed to moving
so like if you ever wanna crash for a day or two or whatever, get out of that shithole down there
totally cool

[needlebomb]

there's no such thing as a homophobic d&d character.
elves? gay. wizards? gay. satanic panic? who do you think invented being gay? jesus? get real.
have you ever met a weed dealer who hasn't jerked off with another guy in his mom's basement? how many weed dealers do you think play d&d? all of them? because it's all of them.
i think it's unlikely a man with two swords isn't trying to communicate something about his interests.

i don't want to crash before you've had a chance to settle in.
but i'll be there the second you've made your room your own.
actually, maybe i can help you decorate.
still got some scrap from the skatepark we can use.

[jizzledim]

alright, jesus
you sound like you're trying too hard to convince yourself that he'll suck you off if you ask nicely

it's gonna take like two seconds to settle in
i've got like three things to my name here
but yeah dude
you think we could build a ramp?

[needlebomb]

totally.
look, artifice aside - i'm just trying to normalize this shit, dude.
we didn't really talk about - i don't know - you? after we messed around.
i mean, i don't know where i'm at. i still feel like i'm straight as an arrow, but i've screwed around with, like, three different guys since coming here, so there's a lot to unpack there.
but i know you've probably been thinking about this shit since home. so.
just want you to feel okay with making jokes about fucking the men in your life if you're going to be fucking the men in your life. that's all.

anyway.
yes.
we can build a ramp.

[jizzledim]

[ ... well. for whatever reason, this isn't exactly where he thought this conversation would go, but marcus isn't wrong. they didn't really talk about anything after the whole handjob... experience, but. it sounds like there are more important things to unpack. ]

i know where i'm at.

[ not untrue. billy knows he's attracted to both guys and girls, but - it's... not anything he's ever really discussed with anyone, nothing he's ever felt comfortable admitting to anyone for a number of shitty reasons. ]

you though
3? dude, i think screwing around with 3 different dudes means you're probably not as straight as you seem to think
were you attracted to any of them?
or was it just like
convenience & quota bullshit

[needlebomb]

oh, okay.

[ a pause. he's not sure why he feels defensive when he's the one who brought this up. maybe in some immature, selfish way he's annoyed with billy for just saying "i know where i'm at" and not explicitly coming out to him, even though marcus, of all people, knows the number his dad did on billy when it comes to this shit and his self-image. whatever, though. ]

i wasn't really bringing this up for the free therapy. just letting you know it's cool with me. wherever you're at.
i'd give willy shit for screwing girls, if he ever actually did. so.
same thing here.

[jizzledim]

[ billy kinda figured marcus was more or less ok with billy being into dudes when he agreed to the two of them jerking eachother off, and not breaking his fingers the second billy touched his dick, but - there's a different sort of comfort that comes with hearing it said so explicitly. not that he really thought marcus would ever be a shithead about it - if he was going to be a bigoted asshole, he would have said or done something back when billy playfully grabbed his ass at that one party in the graveyard. or when lex kissed him square on the mouth.

still. it's relieving. and kind of weird, actually, to have someone know so explicitly. to not have to worry about getting his ass beat. ]

okay
cool

[ that... doesn't seem genuine enough, but billy doesn't really know what else to say. never mind the fact that he's distracted, not having missed that marcus pointedly did not answer his question about whether or not he was attracted to any of the guys he messed around with.

he'll just take that unspoken blow and bury it somewhere he can pretend to forget about it. it's whatever. ]

if you figure out you're
you know, somewhere else from where you thought you were
that's cool with me too

[needlebomb]

[ there's a pretty long stretch of time before marcus figures out how to stumble his way through a reply. he's already started to overthink what billy asked him - maybe billy was fishing for something marcus didn't give - but it feels like they've moved on too long for him to backtrack. besides, marcus has his reasons for being tightlipped. billy doesn't need to know about them. ]

okay. good.
i wasn't worried about that.
not because - you know, you're somewhere else, or whatever, but -
dude, you were the first friend i ever had. you taught me how to survive in king's. we've always been outsiders together.

[ dot dot dot. ]

if there's one person in this world who has my back no matter what, it's gotta be you.
that's all.

[jizzledim]

[ equally, billy also takes some time to reply, mostly because he's working on getting his shit together to take to geralt's apartment sometime within the next few hours - he doesn't have much to his name by any means, but he may or may not be trying to figure out what he can take out of the dorms without getting fined or cited for it - but also because he just. wants to make sure he says what he means, the way he wants to say it. ]

dude, that's not even a question
we're ride or die as far as i'm concerned

[ ... ]

you've done more for me than i could ever repay
i owe you my life, man
but even if i didn't, nothing would be any different
i'd still have your back
nothing's gonna change that

[needlebomb]

cool. same.

[ marcus is touched by billy's loyalty, which makes the fact that he's already hiding shit from him feel all the worse. how does he approach what he wants to say next without fessing up to being in a contract with someone actively buying him an apartment? let's try to thread the needle. ]

i guess i should tell you that i'm actually going to be moving out of the dorms, too.
i found a place to stay. pretty shabby, but, you know. i've squatted worse places.
i can send you an address when i'm all set up.

[jizzledim]

oh, cool
it's better than the dorms though, right?
running water, locks on the doors
a bathroom you don't have to share with like 7 other people?

just don't get your ass caught squatting
don't be the reason i gotta start flipping burgers or some shit just to bail you out of jail

[needlebomb]

yeah. king-size bed. that's what i'm looking forward to the most.
you'd like the place, actually.
pretty big garage space, big empty wall. lots of room for tagging, if you wanna paint the place up with me.
no pressure, obviously. don't want to keep you from your high society sugar daddy for long.
are you going to move on from your fuck-the-man insurrectionist lifestyle now that you're part of the upper class?
oh, man. wait.
are you gonna grow out your hair?
what color is it under there, anyway? i always pictured you as a blond.

[jizzledim]

i go and do something to secure some real food and more than 45 seconds of hot water for both of us and you're giving me shit for it
unbelievable
don't be mad you didn't figure out how to milk the shitty system without actually having to give anything up for it
the man can still get fucked
the only difference is i'm gonna fuck up some free cheeseburgers while i watch

it's brown, by the way