he also had big arms and a jawline he could cut bricks on. trust me. girls like that don't stick around if you can't compensate for your terrible personality.
[ or guys, for that matter, he assumes. heterosexually. either way, as much as he hates to say it, marcus is no scott summers. ]
i do want to eat real food. i also want to get my best friend laid. if you want to touch his dick, you should go for it. that's all i'm saying. as far as i can tell, he's contractually obligated to take care of you for three months, right? so. i don't think you would be "risking" anything. but. whatever. your loss. if you don't fuck him, i'm sure someone will. maybe even me.
i don't think there's anything in our contract that says he has to feed or house me he just keeps my ass out of jail for not playing house or whatever and takes the heat if i piss the wrong people off but by all means fuck him if you wanna fuck him don't let me get in your way, man
[ he doesn't want billy to gas him up. or give him permission to fuck an old man. he wants to gas billy up. he wants billy to fuck an old man. ]
irrational escalation to respond to "hey, i'm kind of attracted to you" with "i'll never feed or house you again" but live your life. morrissey loves celibacy. turns out you're a bigger fan than i am when can i come see the new digs? and who have you been pissing off without me?
he's an old man old people are always irrational and pissed off at those damned youths also he might be a giant homophobe, who the hell knows probably should have figured that one out before i signed all those papers but that ship's sailed anyway you can come over whenever geralt said he doesn't give a shit who i have over or who comes around i specifically asked before i agreed to moving so like if you ever wanna crash for a day or two or whatever, get out of that shithole down there totally cool
there's no such thing as a homophobic d&d character. elves? gay. wizards? gay. satanic panic? who do you think invented being gay? jesus? get real. have you ever met a weed dealer who hasn't jerked off with another guy in his mom's basement? how many weed dealers do you think play d&d? all of them? because it's all of them. i think it's unlikely a man with two swords isn't trying to communicate something about his interests.
i don't want to crash before you've had a chance to settle in. but i'll be there the second you've made your room your own. actually, maybe i can help you decorate. still got some scrap from the skatepark we can use.
totally. look, artifice aside - i'm just trying to normalize this shit, dude. we didn't really talk about - i don't know - you? after we messed around. i mean, i don't know where i'm at. i still feel like i'm straight as an arrow, but i've screwed around with, like, three different guys since coming here, so there's a lot to unpack there. but i know you've probably been thinking about this shit since home. so. just want you to feel okay with making jokes about fucking the men in your life if you're going to be fucking the men in your life. that's all.
[ ... well. for whatever reason, this isn't exactly where he thought this conversation would go, but marcus isn't wrong. they didn't really talk about anything after the whole handjob... experience, but. it sounds like there are more important things to unpack. ]
i know where i'm at.
[ not untrue. billy knows he's attracted to both guys and girls, but - it's... not anything he's ever really discussed with anyone, nothing he's ever felt comfortable admitting to anyone for a number of shitty reasons. ]
you though 3? dude, i think screwing around with 3 different dudes means you're probably not as straight as you seem to think were you attracted to any of them? or was it just like convenience & quota bullshit
[ a pause. he's not sure why he feels defensive when he's the one who brought this up. maybe in some immature, selfish way he's annoyed with billy for just saying "i know where i'm at" and not explicitly coming out to him, even though marcus, of all people, knows the number his dad did on billy when it comes to this shit and his self-image. whatever, though. ]
i wasn't really bringing this up for the free therapy. just letting you know it's cool with me. wherever you're at. i'd give willy shit for screwing girls, if he ever actually did. so. same thing here.
[ billy kinda figured marcus was more or less ok with billy being into dudes when he agreed to the two of them jerking eachother off, and not breaking his fingers the second billy touched his dick, but - there's a different sort of comfort that comes with hearing it said so explicitly. not that he really thought marcus would ever be a shithead about it - if he was going to be a bigoted asshole, he would have said or done something back when billy playfully grabbed his ass at that one party in the graveyard. or when lex kissed him square on the mouth.
still. it's relieving. and kind of weird, actually, to have someone know so explicitly. to not have to worry about getting his ass beat. ]
okay cool
[ that... doesn't seem genuine enough, but billy doesn't really know what else to say. never mind the fact that he's distracted, not having missed that marcus pointedly did not answer his question about whether or not he was attracted to any of the guys he messed around with.
he'll just take that unspoken blow and bury it somewhere he can pretend to forget about it. it's whatever. ]
if you figure out you're you know, somewhere else from where you thought you were that's cool with me too
[ there's a pretty long stretch of time before marcus figures out how to stumble his way through a reply. he's already started to overthink what billy asked him - maybe billy was fishing for something marcus didn't give - but it feels like they've moved on too long for him to backtrack. besides, marcus has his reasons for being tightlipped. billy doesn't need to know about them. ]
okay. good. i wasn't worried about that. not because - you know, you're somewhere else, or whatever, but - dude, you were the first friend i ever had. you taught me how to survive in king's. we've always been outsiders together.
[ dot dot dot. ]
if there's one person in this world who has my back no matter what, it's gotta be you. that's all.
[ equally, billy also takes some time to reply, mostly because he's working on getting his shit together to take to geralt's apartment sometime within the next few hours - he doesn't have much to his name by any means, but he may or may not be trying to figure out what he can take out of the dorms without getting fined or cited for it - but also because he just. wants to make sure he says what he means, the way he wants to say it. ]
dude, that's not even a question we're ride or die as far as i'm concerned
[ ... ]
you've done more for me than i could ever repay i owe you my life, man but even if i didn't, nothing would be any different i'd still have your back nothing's gonna change that
[ marcus is touched by billy's loyalty, which makes the fact that he's already hiding shit from him feel all the worse. how does he approach what he wants to say next without fessing up to being in a contract with someone actively buying him an apartment? let's try to thread the needle. ]
i guess i should tell you that i'm actually going to be moving out of the dorms, too. i found a place to stay. pretty shabby, but, you know. i've squatted worse places. i can send you an address when i'm all set up.
yeah. king-size bed. that's what i'm looking forward to the most. you'd like the place, actually. pretty big garage space, big empty wall. lots of room for tagging, if you wanna paint the place up with me. no pressure, obviously. don't want to keep you from your high society sugar daddy for long. are you going to move on from your fuck-the-man insurrectionist lifestyle now that you're part of the upper class? oh, man. wait. are you gonna grow out your hair? what color is it under there, anyway? i always pictured you as a blond.
i go and do something to secure some real food and more than 45 seconds of hot water for both of us and you're giving me shit for it unbelievable don't be mad you didn't figure out how to milk the shitty system without actually having to give anything up for it the man can still get fucked the only difference is i'm gonna fuck up some free cheeseburgers while i watch
[ he said he'd give billy his space, and billy said he could come over whenever, but marcus, still bizarrely, overly polite at times for a boy who was pretty much raised by wolves, just has to doublecheck. the thought of food is making him pretty impatient. he wants a fucking cheeseburger. ]
you'd look pretty good with your hair grown out. i mean, i was just making fun of you, but the more i think about it... if you're with some viking monster hunter guy, we could totally sync up your aesthetic. keep the mohawk, make it a mullet. grow out a beard. thread some beads into it. warpaint dicks over your eyelids so the monsters see how they're gonna be fucked before you kill 'em. could be fun. more metalhead than skatepunk, maybe, but. you're hot enough to pull it off.
[ like billy's gonna say no to marcus wanting to hang out. half the reason it took him so long to agree to moving in with geralt after signing with him was because he didn't want to be too far away from marcus. negotiating being able to have his best friend over whenever billy wants was the one thing that finally pushed him over into signing. ]
have you looked at my face? i couldn't grow a beard if i wanted to, dude cursed to be baby faced for life my hair the way it is now is probably the only thing that keeps me from looking like i'm 12 besides, it's cooler temperature-wise i mean and i don't have to do shit to it besides slap some gel in it and go why ruin a good thing if it's already hot
[ according to marcus, anyway.
billy pauses here, like that's all he has to say about any of that, but the little typing indicator bounces around for a minute, disappears, reappears again. ]
anyway i'm just in it for the free shit and the bigger bed not really down to kill any more monsters yet
you aren't baby-faced. i mean, you're cute, don't get me wrong, but you definitely look like your age. scrappy teenage punk. total ladykiller. gentlemankiller. whatever. i bet you could grow a beard if you wanted to.
[ marcus is the king of undercutting himself, and he's already been laying it on pretty thick, so he spares himself the embarrassment of looking too desperate by going on and on about just how fuckable billy is. he... also knows literally nothing about haircare, so. can't really engage with the gel thing. marcus still doesn't know if he's using enough shampoo or conditioner. ]
fair enough. this place must be pretty nice, all things considered. you never wanted to learn what they taught us at king's. maybe now you can forget you were ever there. fresh start, what have you.
it has it's benefits, don't get me wrong but there are some things i miss about king's, i guess i don't know about starting over, though what am i supposed to do, exactly gene might be dead, but my mom and my brother still live in a shithole with no money coming in i can't stay here and if i go back, the mob's just gonna pick my ass up just like they always planned to there's no such thing as forgetting king's, marcus it's a nice dream, though
[ marcus feels-- stupid, and the innate need to impress billy and make sure that he likes him flares up the same way it did when he swore to kill gene, swore that he was the one who did it. his stomach twists and he doesn't really know what to say to come out on top again. ]
listen, this goes without saying, but when we get back home, i'll do what i can to take care of your family. i'll take on the mob, figure out a way to get lin to help if i have to maybe saya or maria have the right connections to cancel your dad's debts if they don't i'll find someone who does there's bound to be some rich kid at king's willing to pull a few strings for me
don't worry about it getting someone else to pull strings will just replace one debt with another between the yakuza and the vatos, the mob might not be so bad i'll figure it out when we get back but until then we got another ramp to build before the old man can change his mind
[ ... ]
oh hey do you still have
[ he pauses here for a second, wondering how bad of an idea it would be to ask marcus directly if he has a knife billy specifically gave him to... take care of someone, back when marcus was being blackmailed and they both thought it was some kind of test from lin. ]
"don't worry about it", he says... billy, i was a rat long before i came to king's. i slept in cardboard boxes, wore piss-soaked shoes and ate roadkill. on the lucky days. if i can take on your dad's debt for you, i will. you were the first person who gave my life a little worth. kind of owe it to you to get you out of this. we don't have to talk about it right now, but i'll get you out of this.
[ there's a long pause before marcus follows up on billy's question. he doesn't answer, just - dances around it. ]
[ whatever marcus thinks he's going to do about billy's shitty life ahead, billy just simply isn't going to let him do it. marcus has already lived through a lifetime of bullshit - the last thing billy wants is for billy to have to shoulder more of his own bullshit than he already has. he killed gene - billy couldn't ask for anything more than that.
but he's not going to argue about this right now, not when he knows they'll just talk in circles about it, so he lets it go. ]
at some point, yeah i don't need it right now though just asking because i'm getting my shit together to take to the new place and i can't find it wasn't sure if you still had it and i just forgot, or if it's still here somewhere and i just can't remember where the hell i stashed it
[ it's not that he can't get billy his knife back, exactly, but marcus is a little too paranoid to unearth it if he really doesn't need to. he will, eventually, but marcus is just going to procure billy an upgrade, first; he makes a note to get on that the second they're done talking, maybe claim it as a housewarming present, and hope that billy doesn't ask for his original back. he'll see how it plays out. ]
i'm gonna head out. shower, change, then come over. i'll see you in a couple of hours?
no subject
trust me. girls like that don't stick around if you can't compensate for your terrible personality.
[ or guys, for that matter, he assumes. heterosexually. either way, as much as he hates to say it, marcus is no scott summers. ]
i do want to eat real food. i also want to get my best friend laid.
if you want to touch his dick, you should go for it. that's all i'm saying.
as far as i can tell, he's contractually obligated to take care of you for three months, right? so. i don't think you would be "risking" anything.
but.
whatever.
your loss. if you don't fuck him, i'm sure someone will.
maybe even me.
[ he says, again, heterosexually. ]
no subject
[ because it's nice as fuck. but anyway. ]
i don't think there's anything in our contract that says he has to feed or house me
he just keeps my ass out of jail for not playing house or whatever
and takes the heat if i piss the wrong people off
but by all means
fuck him if you wanna fuck him
don't let me get in your way, man
no subject
[ he doesn't want billy to gas him up. or give him permission to fuck an old man. he wants to gas billy up. he wants billy to fuck an old man. ]
irrational escalation to respond to "hey, i'm kind of attracted to you" with "i'll never feed or house you again"
but live your life. morrissey loves celibacy. turns out you're a bigger fan than i am
when can i come see the new digs?
and who have you been pissing off without me?
no subject
old people are always irrational and pissed off at those damned youths
also he might be a giant homophobe, who the hell knows
probably should have figured that one out before i signed all those papers but that ship's sailed
anyway
you can come over whenever
geralt said he doesn't give a shit who i have over or who comes around
i specifically asked before i agreed to moving
so like if you ever wanna crash for a day or two or whatever, get out of that shithole down there
totally cool
no subject
elves? gay. wizards? gay. satanic panic? who do you think invented being gay? jesus? get real.
have you ever met a weed dealer who hasn't jerked off with another guy in his mom's basement? how many weed dealers do you think play d&d? all of them? because it's all of them.
i think it's unlikely a man with two swords isn't trying to communicate something about his interests.
i don't want to crash before you've had a chance to settle in.
but i'll be there the second you've made your room your own.
actually, maybe i can help you decorate.
still got some scrap from the skatepark we can use.
no subject
you sound like you're trying too hard to convince yourself that he'll suck you off if you ask nicely
it's gonna take like two seconds to settle in
i've got like three things to my name here
but yeah dude
you think we could build a ramp?
no subject
look, artifice aside - i'm just trying to normalize this shit, dude.
we didn't really talk about - i don't know - you? after we messed around.
i mean, i don't know where i'm at. i still feel like i'm straight as an arrow, but i've screwed around with, like, three different guys since coming here, so there's a lot to unpack there.
but i know you've probably been thinking about this shit since home. so.
just want you to feel okay with making jokes about fucking the men in your life if you're going to be fucking the men in your life. that's all.
anyway.
yes.
we can build a ramp.
no subject
i know where i'm at.
[ not untrue. billy knows he's attracted to both guys and girls, but - it's... not anything he's ever really discussed with anyone, nothing he's ever felt comfortable admitting to anyone for a number of shitty reasons. ]
you though
3? dude, i think screwing around with 3 different dudes means you're probably not as straight as you seem to think
were you attracted to any of them?
or was it just like
convenience & quota bullshit
no subject
[ a pause. he's not sure why he feels defensive when he's the one who brought this up. maybe in some immature, selfish way he's annoyed with billy for just saying "i know where i'm at" and not explicitly coming out to him, even though marcus, of all people, knows the number his dad did on billy when it comes to this shit and his self-image. whatever, though. ]
i wasn't really bringing this up for the free therapy. just letting you know it's cool with me. wherever you're at.
i'd give willy shit for screwing girls, if he ever actually did. so.
same thing here.
no subject
still. it's relieving. and kind of weird, actually, to have someone know so explicitly. to not have to worry about getting his ass beat. ]
okay
cool
[ that... doesn't seem genuine enough, but billy doesn't really know what else to say. never mind the fact that he's distracted, not having missed that marcus pointedly did not answer his question about whether or not he was attracted to any of the guys he messed around with.
he'll just take that unspoken blow and bury it somewhere he can pretend to forget about it. it's whatever. ]
if you figure out you're
you know, somewhere else from where you thought you were
that's cool with me too
no subject
okay. good.
i wasn't worried about that.
not because - you know, you're somewhere else, or whatever, but -
dude, you were the first friend i ever had. you taught me how to survive in king's. we've always been outsiders together.
[ dot dot dot. ]
if there's one person in this world who has my back no matter what, it's gotta be you.
that's all.
no subject
dude, that's not even a question
we're ride or die as far as i'm concerned
[ ... ]
you've done more for me than i could ever repay
i owe you my life, man
but even if i didn't, nothing would be any different
i'd still have your back
nothing's gonna change that
no subject
[ marcus is touched by billy's loyalty, which makes the fact that he's already hiding shit from him feel all the worse. how does he approach what he wants to say next without fessing up to being in a contract with someone actively buying him an apartment? let's try to thread the needle. ]
i guess i should tell you that i'm actually going to be moving out of the dorms, too.
i found a place to stay. pretty shabby, but, you know. i've squatted worse places.
i can send you an address when i'm all set up.
no subject
it's better than the dorms though, right?
running water, locks on the doors
a bathroom you don't have to share with like 7 other people?
just don't get your ass caught squatting
don't be the reason i gotta start flipping burgers or some shit just to bail you out of jail
no subject
you'd like the place, actually.
pretty big garage space, big empty wall. lots of room for tagging, if you wanna paint the place up with me.
no pressure, obviously. don't want to keep you from your high society sugar daddy for long.
are you going to move on from your fuck-the-man insurrectionist lifestyle now that you're part of the upper class?
oh, man. wait.
are you gonna grow out your hair?
what color is it under there, anyway? i always pictured you as a blond.
no subject
unbelievable
don't be mad you didn't figure out how to milk the shitty system without actually having to give anything up for it
the man can still get fucked
the only difference is i'm gonna fuck up some free cheeseburgers while i watch
it's brown, by the way
no subject
[ he said he'd give billy his space, and billy said he could come over whenever, but marcus, still bizarrely, overly polite at times for a boy who was pretty much raised by wolves, just has to doublecheck. the thought of food is making him pretty impatient. he wants a fucking cheeseburger. ]
you'd look pretty good with your hair grown out. i mean, i was just making fun of you, but the more i think about it...
if you're with some viking monster hunter guy, we could totally sync up your aesthetic.
keep the mohawk, make it a mullet.
grow out a beard. thread some beads into it.
warpaint dicks over your eyelids so the monsters see how they're gonna be fucked before you kill 'em.
could be fun. more metalhead than skatepunk, maybe, but.
you're hot enough to pull it off.
no subject
[ like billy's gonna say no to marcus wanting to hang out. half the reason it took him so long to agree to moving in with geralt after signing with him was because he didn't want to be too far away from marcus. negotiating being able to have his best friend over whenever billy wants was the one thing that finally pushed him over into signing. ]
have you looked at my face?
i couldn't grow a beard if i wanted to, dude
cursed to be baby faced for life
my hair the way it is now is probably the only thing that keeps me from looking like i'm 12
besides, it's cooler
temperature-wise i mean
and i don't have to do shit to it besides slap some gel in it and go
why ruin a good thing if it's already hot
[ according to marcus, anyway.
billy pauses here, like that's all he has to say about any of that, but the little typing indicator bounces around for a minute, disappears, reappears again. ]
anyway
i'm just in it for the free shit and the bigger bed
not really down to kill any more monsters yet
[ rest in shit, gene. ]
no subject
i mean, you're cute, don't get me wrong, but you definitely look like your age. scrappy teenage punk. total ladykiller. gentlemankiller. whatever.
i bet you could grow a beard if you wanted to.
[ marcus is the king of undercutting himself, and he's already been laying it on pretty thick, so he spares himself the embarrassment of looking too desperate by going on and on about just how fuckable billy is. he... also knows literally nothing about haircare, so. can't really engage with the gel thing. marcus still doesn't know if he's using enough shampoo or conditioner. ]
fair enough.
this place must be pretty nice, all things considered.
you never wanted to learn what they taught us at king's.
maybe now you can forget you were ever there. fresh start, what have you.
no subject
but there are some things i miss about king's, i guess
i don't know about starting over, though
what am i supposed to do, exactly
gene might be dead, but my mom and my brother still live in a shithole with no money coming in
i can't stay here
and if i go back, the mob's just gonna pick my ass up just like they always planned to
there's no such thing as forgetting king's, marcus
it's a nice dream, though
no subject
sorry. that was insensitive.
[ marcus feels-- stupid, and the innate need to impress billy and make sure that he likes him flares up the same way it did when he swore to kill gene, swore that he was the one who did it. his stomach twists and he doesn't really know what to say to come out on top again. ]
listen, this goes without saying, but when we get back home, i'll do what i can to take care of your family.
i'll take on the mob, figure out a way to get lin to help if i have to
maybe saya or maria have the right connections to cancel your dad's debts
if they don't i'll find someone who does
there's bound to be some rich kid at king's willing to pull a few strings for me
no subject
getting someone else to pull strings will just replace one debt with another
between the yakuza and the vatos, the mob might not be so bad
i'll figure it out when we get back
but until then
we got another ramp to build before the old man can change his mind
[ ... ]
oh hey
do you still have
[ he pauses here for a second, wondering how bad of an idea it would be to ask marcus directly if he has a knife billy specifically gave him to... take care of someone, back when marcus was being blackmailed and they both thought it was some kind of test from lin. ]
sorry
do you still have that butterfly
no subject
billy, i was a rat long before i came to king's. i slept in cardboard boxes, wore piss-soaked shoes and ate roadkill. on the lucky days.
if i can take on your dad's debt for you, i will.
you were the first person who gave my life a little worth. kind of owe it to you to get you out of this.
we don't have to talk about it right now, but i'll get you out of this.
[ there's a long pause before marcus follows up on billy's question. he doesn't answer, just - dances around it. ]
why are you asking
do you want it back
no subject
but he's not going to argue about this right now, not when he knows they'll just talk in circles about it, so he lets it go. ]
at some point, yeah
i don't need it right now though
just asking because i'm getting my shit together to take to the new place and i can't find it
wasn't sure if you still had it and i just forgot, or if it's still here somewhere and i just can't remember where the hell i stashed it
no subject
[ it's not that he can't get billy his knife back, exactly, but marcus is a little too paranoid to unearth it if he really doesn't need to. he will, eventually, but marcus is just going to procure billy an upgrade, first; he makes a note to get on that the second they're done talking, maybe claim it as a housewarming present, and hope that billy doesn't ask for his original back. he'll see how it plays out. ]
i'm gonna head out. shower, change, then come over.
i'll see you in a couple of hours?
(no subject)