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[needlebomb]

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[needlebomb]

[ a pause. ]

maybe. a few days is a long time. that's a big commitment.
i don't like making those.

[ and he also doesn't like coming off as someone with nothing better to do than sit around getting fucked up at the first invitation he gets, even though it's... not exactly wrong. ]

[confiscated]

fine, i'll find somebody else
ur heading into old friend territory urself now

[needlebomb]

oh my god, you're so dramatic.

[ dot dot dot. ]

we can hang out. see where it goes.
i'm not promising my entire weekend to you, though.

[confiscated]

fine

but first
you mind me getting more dramatic? i need 2 fucking vent
but i don't want any prissy fuckin judgement ok

[needlebomb]

i'm the prissy one?

whatever, go ahead.

[confiscated]

if you were tied up with someone for almost two years
and their ex, so to speak, walks back in and they say
"oh hey, they need me can we break our contract" are u the shitty one for feeling pissy?

like. somehow it's all fucked up enough that if i object i'm the insensitive one
that this is all for my benefit too. "growth".
i hate this.

[needlebomb]

[ marcus kind of wants to play devil's advocate, just because his instinct is typically to act smarter and more evolved than anyone stupid enough to come to him for advice, but being abandoned is a fucking horrible feeling, and if tate is struggling with that, marcus totally gets it. he... feels kind of itchy and irritable about having someone lean on him like this, primarily too selfish to really empathize with tate, but he'd like to keep this relationship positive, so. he just half-asses a reply and hopes it sounds deep. ]

there's nothing wrong with feeling burned if someone's abandoning you. it sucks that you're going through that.
two years is a long time to piss away for someone else.
getting hammered until you stop caring sounds like the best way to handle this.

[confiscated]

[Tate doesn't mind hearing that blind, shallow reassurance. It's all he wanted. He doesn't want to be challenged, to be told to take this opportunity to grow. He wants to have his ass patted and to be told he's in the right to feel all the fucked up, angry things he's feeling. He's three steps away from a self destructive spiral so he's happy to at least have someone to help him light that fire.]

i don't know what other options there are, really
it gets dissolved on the 13th
feels like i'm just waiting for the guillotine now

[needlebomb]

well, shit, you've got time. three months, right?
something will come along. you're a graduate, so it's not like they can fuck you up too badly if you stay unsigned for a while.

you don't have any friends here or anything?
what about that dude you've been paying for?

[confiscated]

sonovabitch got signed
it's fine, i'll figure it out

i just dont know how im supposed to act like i dont fucking hate the other guy
because i didn't, not really.
but i sort of hate his existence right now

[needlebomb]

dude, there are always going to be people in your life who you hate. sometimes it's justified, most of the time it's not.
you've either gotta take your licks and move on or figure out how to win your first sub back.
neither of those options are gonna change if you hate this ex any less, so. you may as well hate him.

[confiscated]

tell me about someone u hate
how u deal with them

[needlebomb]

uh... that's probably not a good idea.
the people i hate and this ex that you're jealous of are radically different.
my advice wouldn't help you.

[confiscated]

i'm looking for distraction
not comparison

cmon

[needlebomb]

[ ... ]

fine.
early into his presidency, ronald reagan slashed funding across the entire scope of u.s. mental health facilities. hundreds of mentally ill patients were released onto the streets, many of them without families or friends willing to take on the burden of caring for them.
barbara salinger was a suicidal schizophrenic. homeless, unwanted, overlooked.
when i was a kid - seven years old, maybe eight - she threw herself off the highest surface she could find and plummeted to her death. my mom and dad just happened to be walking by. they were crushed to death by the weight of her body. i watched it happen.
ronald reagan killed my parents, so i'm going to kill him, too.
old fucks like that, powerful old men whose short-sighted choices fuck up millions of lives, they never face the firing squad. those are the people i hate.
feeding my ambition and dreaming about the satisfaction i'll feel when i one day see the life drain from his eyes -
that's what keeps me going.

[confiscated]

[This is one of those times where Tate can't say it, but - he's fucking enthralled by this story. It snatches his attention from wallowing in his own misery the way talking about anyone's death does, the haunting reality of life being so... quick to end. Snap of your fingers and it's gone. He laughs to himself in real time at the hate directed at Reagan, but hey. He's not about to dissuade it. Marcus makes good points.]

if it helps u feel better, last i heard he got alzheimer's
but i digress, more power to u.
old rich bastards that sit on the top deserve a shortcut to the bottom

i'm sorry about your parents

[needlebomb]

[ marcus has been pretty indecisive about whether or not he believes in alternate timelines, despite all the proof of them duplicity's been shoving down his throat - but he's irritated enough with tate telling him reagan grows old to decide there's something to the idea of branching histories. he responds, short and fast. ]

he's not going to live long enough to get alzheimer's.
not if i can help it.

whatever. they're dead.
who cares. saying you're sorry won't do shit.

[confiscated]

dead doesnt always mean gone, but i get it
empty words won't change the past

so all that murder school's to kill the pres?
i wish i had a goal that concrete
rn i just wanna kill a few people here for being pricks
doesn't work though
liers come back

[needlebomb]

no.
i mean - killing the president is what i plan to do when i graduate, but it's not why i'm there.
a bunch of kids died. everyone thinks i did it. i was sleeping on the streets, dodging the cops, and i got scouted for my rep.
it's kind of a whole thing.

this is pretty empty advice, given everything, but maybe you shouldn't kill people for being pricks.
if they deserve it, fine, but unless you're completely, 100% sure you can get away with it, the fact that people can come back means you might get yourself well and truly fucked if you're not careful.

[confiscated]

yeah, i know
i'll just have to think of other more creative ways to make them miserable

how many kids died? how?

[needlebomb]

a lot.
a shooting.

[ backdropped by a homemade explosive and the fire that it caused... it was a whole thing. he doesn't need to get into it. he's already said a lot about himself, today. more than he was sure he ever wanted to, here. ]

i really don't think this is what you wanted to talk about when you messaged me to cry about being dumped.

[confiscated]

if u didnt do it, were u set up?

and its a good distraction, like i said
it got me out of my head. i needed it

[needlebomb]

i never said i didn't do it.

[ he didn't, he just doesn't want to go into the whole chester thing just yet. not because he cares if tate knows, exactly, but because there would be some pretty damning ramifications if that got out back home. until he's sure lin isn't going to show up out of nowhere, he should keep his mouth shut. he's already said way too much. ]

couldn't hurt to talk about something happier, if you're that desperate for a distraction.
girls or music or something.

[confiscated]

u meet any hot chicks yet?

i'm still waiting on my mixed tape

[needlebomb]

no. granted, i haven't really gone looking.
but hey, feel free to set me up with someone.

you'll get it when you get it.
i guess i'll try to finish it by the weekend.