inbox.

[needlebomb]

( video / text / voice / action )

Comments

un: tl94

[confiscated]

so my boss is getting hitched here
which equals 2 dilemmas

[needlebomb]

jealous because you're not marrying your mom therapist, aren't you

[confiscated]

ok so 1 dilemma
now that i know i'll be going solo.

[That wasn't one of the 2 but he feels the need to pretend.]

[needlebomb]

haha.

[ marcus is one of those people who types "haha" when he actually laughs out loud, apparently. ]

are you asking me to go with you?
because, i mean, i could, but i've never been to a wedding before. i don't know what i'm supposed to do. or say.
i don't want to give a speech or buy them a present or anything. i don't even know your boss.

[confiscated]

i figured u might bc the free food
and i need an excuse to leave early

[needlebomb]

free food is a plus.
social obligations where i have to watch someone get married here of all places are a minus.
i'll think about it.

what's the other dilemma?

[confiscated]

they're really just signing a permanent contract but they're eccentric
and also kind of my boss(es?)

but that's actually not what i was gonna ask about
i need to figure out a gift and what 2 wear

[needlebomb]

okay.
well.
that's fucking weird, man.

no idea why you're asking me.
you should wear something nice. get them a gift they'll like. that's all i know.
do you have the money to get something new for your wardrobe? like, you're a dom, so you should be loaded, but. i don't know how much they pay you.

[confiscated]

i use my cash on blow half the time

[And also: you.]

i think im just gonna wear a dress shirt
idk how to deal with this but i gotta not piss off the dude
i get some good gigs workin there

[needlebomb]

see, that's what i'm talking about.
there has to be a better way to get blow.
suck some dick. i'm sure someone will trade you high quality shit for a hummer or two.

what do you do there, exactly?

[confiscated]

i cant suck dick all day yknow
bad for the jaw

i serve drinks, mostly
it's a kinda freaky club
people watching's half the fun

[needlebomb]

how much coke do you need, man?
you're not sucking enough for a mountain of the stuff.
just enough to make it through the week.

that doesn't sound like you get "gigs". just sounds like you serve drinks.
made me think you were fucking your customers.
what are the people like?

[confiscated]

ok listen i dont need a lecture on my bj habits and blow consumption
esp not from the dweeb who gets in on both

sry 2 let u know i'm not a whore
except if u got blow ig

[And also maybe it is more than he lets on, yet:]

lots of latex

[needlebomb]

seems like the dweeb who gets in on both is the one person eligible to give you that lecture.
but you're right. i'm sorry.
i'm sorry for implying that you don't need to suck dick until your jaw hurts. that was selfish of me.

you're a bit of a whore. for me, at least.
hopefully not for anyone else, but. c'mon, i'm not naive.
latex, though. i can't believe you've kept me in the dark about this for so long.
is there a uniform? tell me you have to wear a catsuit.

[confiscated]

do u want me to wear a catsuit

[needlebomb]

why would i not want you to wear a catsuit?

[confiscated]

bc ur acting edgy and wanna see if i'd really do it
i would, if u wanted me to

but if ur just fucking with me, i won't bother

[needlebomb]

i'm always acting edgy.
that's half my charm.

i don't want you to do something like that just because you think i would like it.
if that's something you would like, then i'm interested in talking to you about it.
but i don't want you stealing something from work just to offer yourself up to some kink in some subservient display of generosity.
i don't like the feeling of people doing things for me they would rather not do or have no interest in doing outside of their urge to provide for me.

[ bold faced lie, but, you know. marcus wants people to want to do things for him, but he also doesn't want the pressure of having to acknowledge that. ]

[confiscated]

who ever said i wouldn't be into it?

[needlebomb]

i never said you wouldn't.
i just said i don't want you to say that you're into it or pretend to be into it because you think i would be into it.
and if you're into it, i want you to be honest and say that you're into it rather than gauge my reaction ahead of time.
i mean, we're a big deal. you and me.
i know we're not entirely honest with each other all the time. i'm not entirely honest with you, at least. i assume you're not entirely honest with me.
but i trust you enough to open up to you about shit like this.
so you should trust me enough to open up to me about shit like this.

[confiscated]

[Hung up on: Marcus admitting keeping secrets. Selfish moment of hypocritical processing.]

idk what u want me to say
i'm offering something 2 u
take it or leave it

if i don't want to do something i'll say it

[needlebomb]

i want you to say you want something.
i don't want you to offer something to me.
i want you to show me your vulnerability.

[confiscated]

show me urs first
what haven't u been entirely honest with me about

[needlebomb]

[ ... ]

nothing big.
but i say things that i hope will make you like me a little more.
i work hard to be important to you.
sometimes it feels like even if it works, you won't like me, you'll like the perception of me i've tried to give you.
so, yeah.

[confiscated]

well, i like u.
i can tell sometimes ur acting tough or edgy and i get it
i do it too... working on trying to give u a better image of me
i don't think u'd like me the way i really am, sometimes

doing things for u makes me feel better
like i'm useful.